Advice Column

“Dear Thing One & Thing 2, As much as I always adore my time at SSI, there is something that ALWAYS and constantly marrs my experience. What is that something? That gleeful, wicked smile that always adorns the face of Mr. Muffett. When he sees a nervous teen ready to give up the ghost and die of fright over speech making, the smile widens and his eyes start to cross. Nothing else here scares me out of my long johns quite like that smile can. Shall I resist the fear, or should I truly be afraid of him? Is he dangerous?

Sincerely,

The Befuddled One

Dear Befuddled One,

We too can sympathise with your concerns. Because of the power and leadership Mr. Muffett has he can seem intimidating, but let me put your fears to rest. Mr. Muffett is an amazing man who is here to help you, he does all of this for you! He wants to see you thrive and grow here at camp. Therefore, he must be firm at points in order to make you push yourself beyond what you can do now. He has seen a lot of teens go through this program and he knows when you get over the fear and stress you will excel, that my friends is why he smiles. He is not making that smile just to look evil or make you feel scared. He is by no means dangerous, he is actually very caring. Face your fears and go talk to him, sit down at his table during a meal and get to know him. He has lots of wisdom and he wants to share it with you and help you grow. Take a friend if you want to, he loves getting to know all the teens. You may have to sit and listen to lots of jokes, but I promise some of them are funny!!! And Mr. Muffett is great to laugh with. You should remember at the same time you should treat him with the most respect, he in charge and works so hard all year to make LEAD a place where God can work and a way to thank him for all he does is to show respect and guess what, he in turn will definitely return the respect. Hopefully this is helpful and you will take the chance to get to know Mr. Muffett.

Dear Press,

I fell in love yesterday. I saw a lady will silvery hair and a smile that could light up a room. She’s enchanting, but I’ve never even said Hello to her. What if I get turned down? I’m scared. Please help. What do they do.

-Hopelessly in Love

Dear Hopelessly in Love,

Love is a difficult subject, especially when experienced at first sight. Dive in head-first and introduce yourself to the silvery haired woman of your dreams. What is the worst that could happen? Well, actually, a lot. For example, she could simply reject you at best and slap you and run away at worst. But taking all that aside, she won’t know you exist if you don’t talk to her. Introduce yourself, make a conversation. Use your personal charm, dashing looks and bossman hair to win the woman of your dreams. Also, dye your hair silver, she’ll dig it.

Signed,

Thing 2